I've had a huge wake-up call this past week. To be honest, the signs have been there for the past decade. I've just had distractions (read: pregnancies and procrastination) to help me avoid seeing the light.
From the time I was in high school until I was pregnant, it was really easy to lose weight and stay fit. I was extremely active, which burned alot of calories. By modifying my food intake, I could easily lose 5 pounds in a week if I thought I needed to. That being said, I had a hard time coming to terms with my body image. The fact is: I'm tall, with a large skeletal frame. That's the way God made me, and I accept that - now. Back then, I was surrounded by size zero to 6 girls who were 4 or more inches shorter than me - who, according to cultural standards, embodied the "perfect" figure. It never occured to me then that I am built differently and different doesn't mean imperfect. I spent a lot (read: wasted) of energy trying to conform my body to that standard of "perfection". No amount of exercising can change how long your bones are and the way they're put together!
Fast forward to now and I'm looking wistfully at my imperfect body of the past. I wish I had appreciated it more then, because now I would love to have it back!
Its been a long road to where I am now. Working and eating at a fast food restaurant for 12 years, five pregnancies and nursing 4 babies have taken their toll on my body. I've developed some really bad habits, letting food become an obsession, a reward system and a security blanket. I decided I'd had enough last fall and decided to start working hard to reclaim my body - for sanity and health's sake. I started working out 4 and 5 days a week, and then it happened. An old knee injury reared its ugly head and I was forced to put exercising on hold until it was fixed.
At that point, I found myself in an interesting position. I often heard people complaining about exercising all while wishing I could. I used to be the complainer and now I wanted to be able to do what I had complained about. This past week marked 3 weeks after my partial meniscectomy, which meant that I was able to start easing into a low impact exercise routine. I decided that I needed to track my food intake as well, so I could really make sure that I am consuming ENOUGH calories. After all, what's the point of exercising if I'm going to turn around and eat more than I just worked hard to burn off?
The first day, I ate as I usually would and found that I am not getting enough protein on a daily basis and I'm getting too much calories and carbohydrates. Looking at that objectively I realized that the lack of protein explains the huge energy slump I experience every day. I'd been trying to regain that energy with caffeine or sugar laden foods, which explains some of the excess calories. I was a lot more mindful the next 3 days and then I dropped the ball again at the end of the week. Stress plays a huge factor in my eating choices, which is another thing I need to retrain myself on.
I've determined that becoming healthy and getting into shape is important for several reasons. First and foremost is for my kids. I need to set an example for them about how to eat right to stay healthy and to regard food in a healthy manner. Also, I need to help my daughters, especially, to form a positive body image while they're young. Confidence in their bodies now will hopefully help them in the future. Secondly, I need to get into shape to help prevent health conditions that are associated with weight such as diabetes, heart disease, and more. Finally I need to do it for my mental health and self confidence.
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